Kanjoos: Yeh kela (banana)
kaisay diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
Kanjoos: 60 Paisa ka deta hai kya?
S.K: 60 paise mein to,,
sirf chilka hi milega.
Kanjoos: Ley 40 paisay,
chilka rakh aur kela day de
********************************************
A Kanjoos on his death time.
My wife, where r u ?
Wife: I m here
Kanjoos: My sons & daughters,
r u all here?
Yes, Papa
Kanjoos: To phir,,
baju wale kamre ka
pankha Q khula hay ?
***************************************
1 Kanjoos 14th floor se neeche gira.
Girte waqt usne apni ghar ki khirki me apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha to chilla k bola
MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!
**************************************
Kanjoos ne arbi ko khoon de k uski jaan bachai.
Arbi ne usay MERCEDES gift kardi.
Arbi ko phir khoon ki zarorut pari,
Kanjoos ne phir khoon dia.
Ab k bar Arbi ne till waly laddu gift kiye,
Kanjoos: (Ghusse se) mercedez kion nahi di?
Arbi: Munna!!
Ab hamarey ander bhi,,
Kanjoos ka khoon daud raha hay
*************************************
A Kanjoos called a newspaper
office and asked: Mera Baap Mar gaya hai,
kya charges hongay?
NewsPaper: Rs.50 per word.
Kanjoos: Oh bohat ziyada hain,
Acha likho "Sohan Bhai Died".
Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!
Kanjoos: Oh ho! Jara sochnay do.....
Acha likho....... ......... .
Sohan Bhai Died - Suzuki for Sale .
************************************
Kanjoos ask to Taxi Driver:
Abdullah Shah Ghazi k mazaar jao ge kya?
Taxi Driver: Han jaunga..
Kanjoos ne jaib se thaila
nikala or kaha: Wapsi main,,
langar ki biryani lete aana.
****************************************
Shadi me 1 Kanjoos bahut der tak khata raha,
Kisi ne pocha
“bhay kab tak khatay rahogay?”
Kanjoos: Yaar me khud kha kha k thak
gya hun par kya karoon card me likha tha
"Dinner 7 to 10pm”
******************************************
Kanjoos to dukandar: Yaar zara toothbrush dena;
mere brush ka 1 baal toot gaya hai
Dukandar: 1 baal toota to naya q le rahe ho
Kanjoos: jo toota hai woh akhri tha.
*************************************
Titanic K Sath Kanjoos Bhi Doob Raha Tha
Aur Hans (laugh) Bhi Raha Tha
Dost: Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?
Kanjoos: Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda
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